gone to harespell so please add me.   

I'm sure this dream was from reading Idlewild a couple weeks ago.  Too similar a premise, but it was just different enough to be interesting. 

This was so long and as usual I don't remember the beginning.  But I had some disease.  There was this group of other people around my age who also had the disease and we were all in this hospital ward.  The disease was really fast onset and it was like... you just aged really fast and then died.  I guess it was variable how long it took.  So I'd gotten it somehow and was apparently going downhill really fast.  But I just felt very tired and weak in the dream and that was it. Although at some point I was hanging out with the other kids in the ward and ran a hand through my hair and big clumps of it came out.  That was fairly nauseating.  At that point my doctor told me I had 63 hours to live.  Pretty specific number, I know, but I do remember that specific number, so. 

Then some kind of apocalypse happened.  I don't really know what kind.  But the hospital was thrown into chaos, and I vaguely recall running around a lot in a hospital gown, and at some point realized that far more than 63 hours had passed, and I hadn't died.  And I hadn't gotten any worse.    For some reason the only symptom left was this--it looked like a big cigarette burn on the inside of my arm.  I remember being really excited that it was still there, for some reason.  I kept expecting to die and then... not dying.  And I got really excited because it meant I could see my parents again, and I couldn't wait to tell them, but then I realized I had no idea where they were, now that this apocalypse had happened, or even if THEY were alive. 

But then I didn't have time to be depressed because for some reason all of us in the ward ran away and ended up in this... it was like an old camp, I guess.  It was on a lake, and I'm actually thinking we had all been at this camp earlier in the dream--maybe that's where we'd gotten sick.  Because we all already had rooms there with things in them.  Oddly enough, I just recalled that the camp was really near where the Bruces live, and I wandered into their house at some point.  It was empty.  So we are in this camp place and are slowly realizing that nearly everyone else is dead except those of us who had this disease, and we're kind of thinking, you know, THIS sucks.  I just remembered Jeremy Hood was there.  Also Adam McCullough.  

There was this one boy, very VERY blond, and tall and thin.  I don't remember his name, but for some reason he sort of made himself our leader.  There was some cosmic thing that happened, and it was either him, t his other boy, or this girl.  They had this weird, like, psychic showdown and then the blond boy used some kind of spiritual energy to shoot both of the other people dead.  

Some other stuff happened.  I don't remember.  More weird psychicy power stuff.  Blondy was a bit of a tyrant.  Then this older woman shows up, looking for Adam, and Adam's disappeared.  She's his mother, and she's crying and I was trying to comfort her, saying, we don't know where he is, so he may not be dead.  But then SHE dies.  Meanwhile, we're all getting better.  None of us are sick any more, although I remember seeing myself in a mirror at some point and I still LOOKED sick.  

I don't remember a lot else.  Doing some stuff on the lake--there was something weird about the lake, pollution or something.  Shoot.  I wish I could remember more of the pyshic stuff that went on, because it was pretty interesting.  It was in general just a really interesting dream.  Really coherent plot and interesting characters...  another one that's really writable I think.  Mostly the atmosphere.  The lake/river and the emptiness of everything.   
 

I realized today that I was too depressed that I was still in New York City to go do any of the myriad things it has to offer. 

Except go to Fairway Grocery.  Which is like--let's put it this way.  If someone were to construct a religion that required me to at any time sacrifice my physical person through a violent explosion possibly resulting from a bomb shoved up my ass, the reward would HAVE to be Fairway.  There could be some ladies there, too, but they wouldn't have to be virgins--I'm not choosy.  ...just so long as they weren't the actual Fairway checkers, since they all seem sort of mean and uncommunicative, but then again that seems to be New Yorkers in general, so!  

And I TRY, too.  I've been turning up the smarm like CRAZY and no one gives a shit.  I really intensely dislike this place.  

So in total self-indulgence I decided to celebrate that I'm only here one day after today by buying all kinds of stuff that Fairway has that I've never seen in a grocery store before.

...although really, I think the only thing I got that was exceptional ended up being guava slices, but LORD are they delicious.  Also, I got olives from the huge selection of olive bins they have.  I don't think I truly appreciated salt until this year.  So I had this excellent lunch of tomatoes and cucumber, salted, with olives, and then a bowl of oatmeal squares and some guava slices, and I'm not sure if it's so delicious because it's my I AM LEAVING luncheon, or if it is the unique balance of salty tempered by slight sweetness.  Next, a celebratory fourth cup of coffee today.  Usually I am not SO indulgent with my coffee, but I AM LEAVING.  And Fairway does not sell champagne, after all. 

--

In other news I am going to attempt NANOWRIMO again this year and I THINK I know what I'm going to do.  You know, is it okay to just craft my own entire world, sort of Discworld style (I think it's Discworld-like at any rate--never actually read any of those [i should read more fantasy since it's what I like to write... i always think that but never do])?  I for some reason find it really presumptuous of myself to even think of doing it.  As though I'm not allowed to continue writing in one world until I--oh, I don't know--FINISH TUESDAY.  Jesus.   Not that it would be particularly relevant to the new story that it's the same theoretical world. 

That's all I got.  I remember having a really cool dream last night, but I can't remember it now.  

And I'm going to go to Vermont on Sunday and I am going to see Jess and I am pleased as punch.  


 

I'm not sure I like New York?  As a city, I mean.  Usually I think I get a feel for these things pretty fast.  I liked Vancouver right away, and Portland, and London.  Not so, NY.  

So maybe I'll be in Montana again in December after all, applying for grad school, working at the bookstore my mother wants to open in bigfork.  maybe that would be good for me. i don't know anymore. 

I know one is bound to have these moments whenever alone and in a new situation so I'm trying to ignore it, but I'm just not sure about the city at all.  It's not clicking. London clicked.

dunno.   

third person omniscient narration, a minor character whose death serves some purpose (or maybe even not) dies by being smothered with a pillow that smells like ass. What a horrible death! Suffocating and being able to think of nothing except how terrible the pillow shoved into your airways smells!

I have taken a walk in the woods and returned to find you shrieking at me.

You will not be still, but that will not work. Perhaps it was the turkey feather behind my ear that confused you, but i do not want your eggs madam. but i do want to know where your nest is, and i strongly suspect that you are flying circles around it while you shriek. i strongly suspect that if i continue standing here you will return to it eventually, although you are changing your axis, so perhaps you are cunning. the shrieking is not going to work, however.

i have taken a walk in the woods and returned to find my arms spattered with blood. i do not appear to be bleeding and do not know whose blood it may be, and do not know who else's blood it would be but mine.

Potato chips for lunch. Spinach and Negra Modelo for dinner.

Now I'm watching Nancy Drew, by myself, and responding to the fact that the DA was willing to make a deal with some petty burglars to get to a bigger crime boss, I murmured very seriously to myself, "That's not justice."

It's too soon to be cracking up. This is only day one.

i guess i probably graduated from college yesterday. curious.

Click Me!
Adopted from squiby

 remembered this midway through the day--there was a labyrinth, it seemed to be over by the Wilma, those stairs near the bridge.  It was a  maze or a labyrinth, but it went up and down a lot on a bunch of planes, and the river wasn't there, just the bridge and maze.  Me-not-me and someone else were going through it but...  I don't know what happened, really.  It was scary.  There was something scary going on, apocalyptic.  We ran into these other kids who we didn't know, but owning to its being the apocalypse all kids had an instant bond kinda thing, although it felt vaguely like a rivalry, too.  And they told us there was this amazing thing on display back the direction we'd come from.  

We go back and there is a corpse upright in a glass box, not quite mummified, but not recently dead either.  There's a man calling out for this attraction, like at a circus freak show kinda thing.  We stop in front of the body--it's a mess, hideous from a distance, but up close you can tell it was beautiful when it was alive.  Black curls, pretty face.  It's really yellow now, though, and covered in wounds and bruises and old blood.  In particular there's this spot on the neck.  It's black, I guess with more dried blood, and it's almost v shaped, with the top of the V turned toward the body's right ear.  It was Dionysus.

It was weird.  It was so pretty up close, but so so dead and so horribly beaten.